Day 367 - Reflection

2021 March 19

Wednesday

1:30pm:

It was just over a year ago that I wrote my first “Coronavirus Diaries” post. It feels simultaneously like yesterday and like a lifetime ago.

Covid time is weird — it moves fast and slow with little rhyme or reason.

Today is the 26th anniversary of my first date with my husband. We’re not going out to eat. We’re not doing anything particularly special, other than opening a bottle of wine I’ve been saving. Our eldest turned 19 during the pandemic. Our youngest is about to turn 2. All her birthdays have been Quaranbirthdays. I haven’t seen my parents in a year and a half. I haven’t been to Nova Scotia since 2018. It feels strange, and impacts my perception of time.

I got my first hair cut in 2 years a couple days ago.

Goodbye Covid hair, I won’t miss you.

I feel like I should have written a post at various points over the past few months, but I haven’t had much to say. Nothing much has changed.

In January, I sought help for my anxiety issues — a pre-existing condition that has been challenged and aggravated by having my entire family home all the time. We’re still tinkering with the dosage, but the medication is helping. I feel more like myself than I have in ages, and I’m able to concentrate on tasks again.

I haven’t been able to focus long enough to finish a single book since this pandemic started. Since starting medication, I’ve been able to focus enough to knit 21 hats (#22 is mostly done), and a special “HUG” blanket for three of my four youngest, as well as one for myself. I’m part-way through knitting one for my youngest at the moment.

Next up is books. I’ve picked up the Bridgerton series, because I think that’s my speed right now, and have started the first book. I would like to regain my ability to finish a book. Reading is an integral part of who I am. Losing it was the single biggest, reddest, flashing warning sign that my mental health was deteriorating.

I’ve been knitting a lot. Watching a lot of shows on various streaming services. Trying to keep my kids motivated enough to finish remote learning worksheets that they now find unbearably boring, but need to submit so their teachers can gauge their progress. The favourite activity was building a bridge from popsicle sticks. The least favourite is anything resembling a journal entry.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Fall. Ideally, most adults will be at least partially vaccinated by then, so the current plan is to send the 6yr old, 10 yr old, and 17yr old back into classrooms. Our 5th child should be starting Kindergarten this Fall, but we feel she would benefit from being home for another year with us, doing remote learning if it is available. She is particularly well-suited to home learning, and would benefit from one-on-one time with me.

We’ve booked some camping trips. I’m sad that we won’t be heading East this year, and that it is unlikely my parents will be able to come visit. I’m looking forward to Fall camping /cottaging with our family for our 25th wedding anniversary. It’s nice to have “events” to anticipate. There are no live music festivals in the cards for me this summer. I miss live music.

My elementary kids have fully adapted to being home and run like a pack. It’s great to see them thoroughly enjoying each other and, if nothing else, this year at home has been an amazing bonding opportunity for them. Keeping them indoors is next to impossible, especially with the 6yr old. She would spend the entire day outside if she could.

We are starting to plan this year’s garden. I have some ideas, some improvements on what we did last year, and some expansion in mind. I’m hoping to get a perennial ornamental garden in the ground alongside my house so I don’t have to mow the landing strip between sidewalk and house anymore. My daffodils — offspring of ones that grew across the road from me when I was a kid — are set to actually bloom this year. They haven’t bloomed in years, but were moved into new spots last year that might better suit them — fingers crossed!

My husband installed gymnastics rings in our family room. Why? Because I didn’t say “no”, I suppose. The 17yr old has been doing pull-ups on them, and I set up a sling swing for the kids with one of my baby wraps. The 23mos old thought that was fantastic, and cried when I took it down to put away. I’ll have to keep that in my back pocket for days when I need to distract her.

Covid rates in our part of Ontario have risen dramatically in the past 3 weeks. Over 18% of our total cases since the beginning of the pandemic have been logged since the beginning of March. I don’t know what percentage of these are variants of concern, but I expect they’re contributing to the sharp rise. I won’t be surprised if the province is under another lockdown by Easter.

We’ve celebrated 3 pandemic birthdays already in 2021, and there are 3 more in the next two months.

We might all (still) be at home, but at least there is lots of cake!

Wash your hands, follow your local public health guidelines, and for goodness sake WEAR A MASK.