35 wks

As I sit here with my tea, contemplating my to-do list for the day, it struck me that I've not updated here in awhile. To be honest, Twitter is about the extent of my attention span at the moment and lends itself nicely to the "walk-by" updates as I pass the computer during the day. I'm at a point where I'm forcing myself to let go of certain expectations of what will get done around the house before the baby is born. I'm also at the point where the incredible drive to get it all done is ramping up. Sometimes this works and I have an incredibly productive day, but at other times it leaves me feeling directionless and overwhelmed.

My biggest goal is to have the "grunt work" done by the end of April. That way, things being what they are, I should have a bit of time left to do the "fun" baby preparations before this little guy arrives. I have to admit, though, that it is hard to envision having my planned homebirth with the bathroom torn to shreds and all the bathroom "stuff" jimmied into the upstairs hallway with only a teeny walkway free, the boys' room looking like a tip, the kitchen-cum-porch in upheaval, and the master bedroom (which serves as storage/attic space as well) full of boxes. I know I'm making massive progress by the piles of stuff I'm getting rid of, but I haven't hit the magical point where it all comes together and is suddenly, magically, organized.

I know this will happen because I get to this point any other time I embark on this sort of project but, given I have an extremely finite amount of time in which to complete this particular endeavor, I'm getting a bit panicky. I'm not a lot of fun to live with when I'm panicky. I get anxious, can't sleep, turn into a nagging fishwife and growl at anything that moves.

So I'm trying to let go of the ideas of perfection I had in mind. Years of procrastination cannot be undone in a few short months.

Our hideous blue bedroom likely will not get primed or painted before the baby is born - if I can get it surface-prepped I'll be happy. My dining room shelves won't be cleared of clutter until all the "big" projects are done. Our new toilet might not be installed before the baby's here, but I will have a new sink and cabinet in the bathroom -- then again, if Rona can manage to locate their stock on their shelves, we might get the toilet installed too. I will have insulation holes in the walls and defective seal around the bathtub temporarily "fixed" with Tuck Tape, but I've a promise from my husband that these things, too, will finally be properly addressed later this summer. In fact, we might pick up a new tub and complete the bathroom mini-reno altogether. On the bright side, Tuck Tape *does* come in a nice cheery shade of cherry red.

My garden might not be raked and the vine on the front of the house might not be pruned. My favorite chair to sit in when pregnant and nursing will not be repaired in time to use before #3's here. Hopefully my kitchen cabinets will be organized, but it isn't the end of the world if they aren't. I will have sorted through more than 20 cubic feet of storage boxes and purged almost all of it. My storage closet will contain nothing that is unknown or unlabeled. The hideous blue carpet in the bedroom will be removed and the furniture shifted where it needs to be. I will be happy, content with what has been accomplished, and will have a new baby in a month or so.

And now I need to go and see what I can accomplish today.