Dear Youngest Daughter
Dear Youngest Daughter,
You are the baby with whom I will get the least amount of time. I was 41 when you were born, and when you are my age we will probably be saying goodbye.
I am sorry for this because it means that when you still need me I might not be there. I might miss out on seeing you graduate university, launch your career, marry or have children -- I might not be there to listen when you want an understanding, nonjudgemental ear.
You get the least of me, my Darling, but you also get the best.
You get a mum who doesn't care anymore what other people think -- a mum who is willing to listen, to slow down and treasure the moment.
You get a mum who knows the importance of saying she loves you, frequently and deliberately, until it becomes part of your inner dialogue and a voice you can fall back on when things feel bleak -- because some day things will feel difficult. Remember, my Sweet, there's always something better on the way.
You get a mum who knows that being a good person is hard work -- a mum who is teaching her children to love, laugh, and live as a unit, so that when I'm gone you have those connections to support you when I can't. They are your cheerleaders, Baby, and you will never lack for family to hold you up.
You get a mum who knows first hand how much love grows the more she gives it. Loving people is easy, and the heart has enough room for everyone.
You get a mum who simultaneously has infinite patience and zero tolerance for bullshit. Don't ask me how this works, it just does. You also get a mama who will go to the wall for you, if you ever need it.
I am the secret weapon in your corner.
At the same time, you get a mum who is willing to stand back and let you make your own mistakes -- a mama who only steps in to help when asked, but steps in without judgement. A mum who answers your questions and gives you the freedom and space to plot your own course. We learn to do through doing, and part of doing is messing up sometimes. That's okay. I won't love you any less.
You get a mama who understands just how quickly time flies by, and will happily spend a day snuggled on the couch with you reading books, playing with toys, or just enjoying each other. These moments are so fleeting, and this Mama wants to grab them all.
My love goes with you every day, and when I am gone it will go with you then, too.