Hi.

Welcome to my place.

I write about about being a 40-something mum of five wonderfully exasperating children, attachment parenting, my adventures in the kitchen, and whatever else comes to mind. 

-Melissa.

38 wks

I think I'm ready for this little guy to be born. I'd still be content with more time -- we're getting some long-delayed projects finished and I'm worried about losing the current momentum -- but I'm getting increasingly uncomfortable and the more "ready" things are, the more "ready" I am. It's a little bittersweet, though. While I'm not sure I'd say "never", we're intending this guy to be our last baby. I'm trying to enjoy this last bit of pregnancy as much as I can -- compared to the last two in the final weeks, I feel great. I'm happy, I'm enjoying sharing this with my older boys who are full of questions about the birth and the baby, and I admit that in the last week or so I've been doing some actual "nesting". ;) I had no impulse to do that with the first two, so it's been fun.

Last night we put up the shelving to hold the diaper stash and I unloaded everything from the storage box. It's a pretty good mix of stuff my older two used and new stuff I've picked up over the past year of working at the baby shop. I can't believe how much wool I've accumulated! Clearly I am a fan of wool covers - in fact, I intend to spend some of today curled up on the couch with #1 (who is sick) finishing up a pretty apricot newborn/small soaker. I've 6 used/new covers to wash and lanolize - 7, if I finish knitting the one I just mentioned! This is, of course, not counting the pretty bottle-green shorties I've already finished and lanolized. Do I have a problem? ;)

It has been lovely to reminisce over the boys' babyhood while looking at their little clothes and slippers. It's been fun to look ahead to the "new" things -- new baby carriers, new outlook on life (being older has mellowed me a lot), watching the big brothers bond with Baby, and so much more. It will be hard, knowing each milestone is probably the last time I'll see one of my babies achieving it, but exciting as we forge forward into a different stage of familyhood.

I'm very fortunate in that I'll be able to take baby boy to work with me at the shop -- I really do enjoy my time there and appreciate the baby-friendly environment it provides. I love seeing new and expecting parents come in and would miss it greatly. I don't intend to be gone for long, but we'll see. Birth is unpredictable and Baby has been decidedly posterior for the past few weeks.

I'm a little concerned about my lower back, as I've arthritis in my SI joints and the lower part of my spine. I did back labour once before and felt like I'd been hit by a truck through recovery. I've been trying various methods to encourage him to turn, but he's being persistent. I've been teasing #1 saying #3 is going to be stubborn just like him. ;)  All that aside, #3 seems to be mostly active during the day and mostly quiet at night -- I'm hoping he sleeps the way #2 did as an infant! It will be fun to see if that follows through, as #2 was also and active "day" baby before he was born.

We're planning to birth at home, about which I'm very excited. I've been wrestling myself into a birthing mindset - trying to let go of unreasonable or unrealistic expectations and get my mind to a place where it's comfortable going with the flow. I've already warned dh that I'll likely ask him to leave at some point during labour, based on my past two experiences. I think he's okay with that. I know birth freaks him out a bit and I don't want to be concerned with him being concerned. #1 has expressed an interest in seeing the baby born, but #2 wants nothing to do with anything that involves Mommy hurting. I told them both that it is entirely up to them and they can change their minds later if they wish.

Yes, I'm looking forward to this arrival very much. Today would be a good day to be born, Little One. So, too, would tomorrow. ;)

The Perfect Birth

37 wks