Hi.

Welcome to my place.

I write about about being a 40-something mum of five wonderfully exasperating children, attachment parenting, my adventures in the kitchen, and whatever else comes to mind. 

-Melissa.

Waiting Sucks

I went in to the Fertility Clinic for some bloodwork yesterday that will hopefully give me insight into what has been going on for the past two weeks. After another incident of excruciating lower right abdominal pain last night, I'm not expecting good news. That said, though, I wish they'd call sooner rather than later to let me know what's up. At this point I am beyond suspecting that things are merely "not good" and well on my way to being concerned, as I can actually feel a mass around where I'm feeling the pain. If I'm going to miscarry, then so be it -- it will be another entry in the list of ways I feel betrayed by my body -- but I'm really hoping that nothing is going on that will further hamper my ability to conceive and sustain a pregnancy.

Then again, maybe it's all in my head. I tend to prepare myself for the absolute worst in these situations so that I'm either ready for the bad news or pleasantly surprised by good news. Something just feels *wrong*, though..

ETA: Results from yesterday only show a weak positive -- definately not where levels should be at this point. I repeat bloodwork Friday to confirm. :(

I feel totally self-indulgent here, but this feels so unfair. We've been ttc for two years with no results. We go to the Fertility Clinic to be told there is no good reason why we aren't getting pregnant, and have an endo-related surgery in a last ditch effort to "fix" me. We finally get pg, the timing seems perfect, and now this. I feel so totally betrayed and alienated from my body at the moment.

EATA: Bleeding and nasty cramping now. Definately miscarrying. :(

It's Not The Size Of The Balls -- It's What You Do With Them

How Did I Forget This Stuff?