Hi.

Welcome to my place.

I write about about being a 40-something mum of five wonderfully exasperating children, attachment parenting, my adventures in the kitchen, and whatever else comes to mind. 

-Melissa.

Some Days I Really Hate Being Right

This is going to be one of those "Pity Party" posts -- one of those "woman" posts about ovaries, uterii, fertility, and other stuff potentially considered "oogie" by guys and non-childbearing women. If you are one of these people, I highly recommend you turn away and go check out some funny comics instead. This post will have too much information for you. This post has too much information for me. Back in February, I had a Dr's appointment. It was mostly a general check-up to schedule some blood work and adjust a prescription, but I made a point to bring up a suspicion I had. I have been feeling "off" for the last couple years for reasons unrelated to my depression, but hadn't really been able to pinpoint what felt wrong. Almost two years ago or so my periods started to go wonky, and as they got stranger, longer and more uncomfortable I started experiencing pain in my lower left abdomen and more recently on my right.

I know that a few of you who've known me since the birth of my eldest child are nodding your heads -- you know what's coming. Unfortunately, the minute I voiced my fears to my Dr in her office that February morning, so did I.

I got the ultrasound results back this morning. I have two ovarian cysts. The one on my left side is 4cm x 4cm and the one on my right is 3cm x 3cm. For comparison, the one I had removed when pregnant with #1 was 8cm x 3cm. The questions right now are a) is this related to my endometriosis, b) does it affect my fertility (as we've been "flying without a safety net" for well over a year now with no results), and c) will they go away on their own or will they keep increasing in size?

I'm not entirely sure I want to think about the answers to any of these right now but I certainly don't want to end up pregnant and anticipating second trimester abdominal surgery again. That's an experience I've already had once and once was more than enough, so I don't really have the option of taking a "wait and see" approach as long as we're trying (more accurately, "not avoiding") to get pregnant. My Dr is booking an appt for me with the Infertility Clinic so we can get things checked out.

I should feel relieved to find out that I'm not imaging the "weirdness" I've been feeling. I should be glad that my instincts were accurate and that I listened to them. All I really feel, though, is sad, tired, and worried.

I Need To Start Shopping At The Recycling Centre

A Million Little Wishes